Misty: The story you're about to hear was gathered at the Story Sharing Room, hosted by the 2024 Shepherd Symposium on Social Justice and What You're About to hear, Jenny reflects upon grace and finding common ground with her daughter.

Jenny: However, when my own daughter came out to me in the seventh grade, I was shocked. And I think she was as well. She was excited to share with me before a choir concert, uhhuh, that she thought that she was gay. And her grandparents were upstairs, and we were all busy getting ready for this choir concert, trying to put together her uniform and things like All I could think was like, damn it. You know your grandparents are upstairs. They won't understand. And we've got to be there at seven, I don't have time for this right now. 

Jenny: Immediately I felt this tremendous amount of fear regarding how she would be treated if she were to come out and dismissiveness and lack of understanding from her family. Are they gonna understand? 

Misty: How is this going to alter... 

Jenny:  Yeah. 

Misty: How we move through the world together. 

Jenny: Yeah. My husband and I have both been from small communities, very conservative. He had actually passed away. He had died climbing Devil's Tower. And I was surprised at the amount stereotyping that happens when you're a single mom, even though you're a widow. So when she came out to me, that moment before the choir concert I... There was that immediate need to, you know, be Mama Bear and protect her and keep her safe. Because I knew there was a danger in her, her gay identity. 

Jenny: But also, I was selfish. And all I could think about is how much my family would blame my, you know, her being the child of a single mom. They had already made comments about our lack of attendance at church, religiousness in the home, and I just knew that they would blame that on her sexuality, like her, her being gay. 

Jenny:  I had always considered myself someone who was empathetic, but I could not see her for herself and her needs at that time. I could only think about everyone else. It took probably another year for me to let go of everyone else until I could come to acceptance of her. Finding out that your child is gay, knowing that you live in a conservative community. 

Jenny: And a conservative family 

Misty:  And a conservative state. 

Jenny: Yeah. And not knowing how to navigate. And I know so much more now, so I, I would love to help other parents, yeah. Just that moment before the choir concert, trying to navigate that, and not knowing... Now, as I'm actually telling you this now, as I'm telling you, this is probably the first time that I've really given myself grace for that day. 

Misty: Ahh, that's important. 

Jenny: Yeah. Give myself grace. 

Note: The transcript above has been condensed from its original audio recording to improve the flow and readability of the story.