Jolie: Alright, so today we have Levi here to tell us a story about a bracelet that he brought to the occasion.  What do you want to say about the bracelet?

Levi: Well, it’s the only bracelet that I’ve ever had that I’ve actually worn persistently, which is somewhat notable to me as my brother has about eight that he has worn for years and years on end. I’ve always really admired that level of consistency. They’re worn down, but he looks at them with a lot of importance, a lot of memory to it, and so I take a bit of inspiration from that and it’s an important bracelet.  I’m trying to do the same, to have something that sticks around with me as well.

Jolie: That’s really cool!  I also like to have bracelets from people that are important to me.  Can you tell me what’s so important about this one in particular?

Levi: Yeah, so I got this bracelet from my best friend Jessica.  She sent it to me in a letter and it has a couple of - it has an inscription on it.  It is SRN BUTTON, which I’m not entirely sure what that stands for.   I’m not sure if this was the original intent, but for now it stands for Serotonin Right Now BUTTON because I suffer from social anxiety disorder.  I have a significantly difficult time finding others or believing others see value in myself and it’s a very good reminder that there are some folks out there who can persistently see that value.  If I am significantly lacking in serotonin, I done smack that bracelet, and it’s very helpful.  You know, makes me remember that there is not only just that friend, but many others.  Family and the lot.  But you know, solid, solid reminders because you just get lost in your own head very frequently.

Jolie: Do you intend to get more of them?  Or is it more like a “this is my thing that ties me back just this once?”

Levi: I think it will just be the one bracelet. I’ve always wanted to accessorize in some manner, but I don’t think I’ll go overboard with it like him [his brother].  And I have other memento objects going on to remind me of things, but none as important to my mental health as something that I keep on my wrist such as this.  

Jolie: Speaking of mental health, do you find that it’s important to have something to ground you specifically?  Does the bracelet relate at all to a practice of meditation or mindfulness?  You mentioned that it’s nice to have a thing that you can touch.  Do you see that as a meditative act?

Levi: No, not so much.  What I really like about the bracelet is its persistent viewability and it constantly being with me.  Like I said, I forget I even have the tattoos, and there are places in my life that I go for meditation and to calm, but what I really like about the bracelet in particular is that I can be at work or on a jog or doing something frustrating and be stuck in my head.  I’m in a loop that I can’t seem to get out of, and then I will feel it or see it and then be able to kind of step out of it in that way.  It’s nice to have it as an impromptu object in the moments where I don’t have the objects that are in my bedroom that hold memories or the drawings on my body. 

Jolie: That’s totally fair.  So you said that you want to emulate this thing that your brother does.  Can you talk more about that?

Levi: Yeah, so it’s about his persistence of keeping something around and the maintenance of some sort of memory.  He does look at them and he knows the era that they have come to him in and the parts of his life that he was in.  And I have a couple of tattoos that do that same thing, but it’s nice to have a physical object in some manner, which is cool to do that with to tie myself back to memories into a time.  As the bracelet gets older, it will only do better at that job, as it’s only been a couple of months.

Jolie: That’s actually really cool because it’s almost like a journal that you can wear.  Is that part of the purpose?  Is it something you think about?

Levi: Oh yeah, definitely.  And with a lot of objects, I think that journaling is particularly difficult, but it’s similar to music and smells and things that bring you back to times that you once were in.  I find it extremely important because you just get stuck in the day-by-day.  You gotta take a look around at how far you’ve come because even though you’re still trippin’, you made it somewhere, you know?

So I think that there’s also stuff like that, that are like “ah!  Priorities”  so I gotta try to keep it in mind more so than a tattoo, which I don’t see very often.  I catch a glimpse [of his tattoo], and I’ll be like “oh, nifty,” but this [the bracelet]  kind of intrudes itself, which is more important due to its meaning of lack of lonesome.

Jolie: Right.  Do you have any tattoos that have a similar purpose for you then?  You mention that they would tie you back to a specific time or place or person in a way that’s similar to a physical object.  Do you have any tattoos that stick out to you for that?

Levi: Yeah, I only have two.  One of them reminds me of my general love of learning which is nifty.  The other one is just a little ghost, and I got it with my childhood best friend.  It’s kind of a memento mori, not only to remember that I will die, but all  the moments that I’m having are dead as they pass.

Jolie: That’s a good line!

Levi: Thank you! But yeah, the past has its ripples, and they still affect us, so it reminds me of the friendships I had in my middle school and elementary school time and how those are gone, but I happen to still ripple from what has happened, you know?  It’s hard to conceptualize me dying as well.  To remember that I will die, and to make the day more important.

Jolie: Do you think that having an active reminder of you going to die someday -  does that affect you on the day to day?  Do you think about that every day?  Or is it just something that passes by once in a while in your mind?

Levi: I think more often than not, I forget that I’m alive as I’m doing it.  You know, I waste a significant amount of time just sitting in my room or being sad or doing other things that are just not very productive, and it’s actually kind of a boost to look at the fact that I will die, and the only way that you can die is to have lived.  And so I have to do that, you know, do some living.

Jolie: Yeah that makes a lot of sense.  For context, for the question that I’m about to ask, Levi works in a pet crematorium, and so I was wondering if that message of the memento mori and moments being dead as they pass - do you think about that while you’re working? Or is that a thing that plays into what you think about when you do your job?

Levi: Yeah, I mean I think it’s really important.  My job is a lot of memorial creation, and so it’s similar to creating an object that is exclusively for harkening back to the memories that they had with the individual that has passed.  So I’m able to give them some object.  And some other people who bury rather than cremate choose a place to remember the person or the pet.  And so, it is interesting to be working in the death care industry and to think about death in that manner.  

But I also see it as when somebody comes in, and the massive wave of emotion rushes through them, and they’re like crying distinctly, it is only because they really cared about the pet, and so everybody is like “oh man, what a terrible job, and it seems very very sad,” and I’m like well, genuinely what I say is I’m not the vets, and so I don’t kill the pets, which is nice.  They’re already dead, and so there’s nothing I can do but make a memory come back into your home. And so, I get to see the emotions that they had for their loved ones, which is kind of nice, and I get to put that back into their house.  But it doesn’t really make me think about my own death, other than the people who come in and ask me what they should do with their own remains when they die, which is more common than I would hope.  

Jolie: So wait, do people just walk in and then ask you “hey man, what’s your take on cremation?  Should I get cremated vs. buried?”  Do people ask you that when they come into your work?

Levi: Well, I guess what I should say is that they wonder what is going to happen to their pets’ remains when they die.  People will come to pick up their pet and they’ll say “what am I supposed to do with this?” and I’m like “what” and they’re like “well, I’m going to die and no one’s going to care for Mittens,” or whatever.  And I’m like, “well, a lot of people who come in have requested to their families that when they get cremated, to mix the ashes with all of their pets.”  All their old cats, or whatever.

Jolie: So do you have repeat customers who are like “oh, my third cat died and all three of my cats are going to be mixed with my ashes?”

Levi: Yeah, yeah there’s a lot of people who come through fairly regularly.  I mean, the only ones who come through fairly regularly I would say are rescue pets, but there are a good amount that we’ve seen multiple times, and they’re just like “oh man, my shelf is getting full of these things.”

Jolie: That makes sense.

Levi: Yeah, maybe stop buying your daughter hamsters.

Jolie: Wait, do people cremate hamsters?  Is that a thing?

Levi: Oh yeah, people are cremating hamsters.  There’s this one lady whose daughter has a bunch of bunnies and we’ve already cremated like three of them for her.  She’s just like “yeah, my daughter’s got a whole farm going on.”  And I’m like “Alright, we’ll do what we can,” you know?  It’s pretty funny.